So it has finally happened, I forgot to write this month's Sacred Sunday. I noticed this while sitting in my Publishing and Editing class on the second day of college, which took me away from discussion for the rest of the period in an act of guilt. Not that it is not still August or that I could not still write a monthly check-in a few days late, but I am desperately afraid of my passions slipping out from under my feet like they seem to do when life picks up. As was predicted, August was a standstill and now entering September I am already getting motion sickness from the speed and amount of moving parts around me.
After class yesterday, I tried to complete both piling up homework assignments and this blog post, but it left me burnt out and with a pessimistic heap of words due to the heaviness I was feeling. I knew college would be hard, but I did really underestimate navigating the new academic and social world atop balancing exhaustion, stress, dehydration, and still taking care of myself. Being responsible for taking care of myself is the hardest part of it all and I think I am homesick for the safety net my life held together just one week ago.
Please bear my expression for it is my art form as I paint my life to be miserable instead of acknowledging a hard day when in all actuality I see my future self when I look in the mirror every morning. I wear my cute little outfits to go work in the library with coffee and book in hand, and head to my Intro to Fiction class where I can feel the eagerness manifesting through the massive amount of creative energy in the room waiting to be tapped into, and sometimes even head to lunch alone where I journal in an act of solitude, not loneliness. I am starting to feel at home on my walks through old brick buildings that tell the stories of a million other people who were once just like me, attempting to renew themselves. I never actually thought I would make it here but can feel a sense of belonging stronger than the ones I have felt when traveling across cobblestone streets or on mountain tops which validates every concern that once wore on my soul. Magic clings to my form as my life slowly, actually rather rapidly, turns into my Pinterest boards. I have even been journalling every day, sometimes with the urge for more that end up sprawled across various scraps of paper and my notes app, for the first time in years. Everything is coming together as I dreamed it.
With September leaves underfoot, I hope to sink into a routine of clarity, reflection, organization, and one with priority. The hardest part about college is one hundred percent the time management, even just planning when to grab a bite to eat, so this next month I look forward to locking down on routine and using the influence from my slow August days to keep me centered, although they have slipped away into a moment in time. Thank you all for tuning into my three-day late Sacred Sunday, although I did reflect on my previous month, assess the present, and set intentions for the future, so I call that a success in my book.
-Emma Claire