I see that color, mixed between burnt orange and the perfect strand of gold, and before I know it, the memories take over and instigate any swallowed desire I had to press play. The screen flashes me back to sitting in the passenger seat with your hand on my dimpled cheek then flickers back to a face left only with penetrations of longing under the eyes.
Lightning is perceived to drive us away but after my closely encountered studies, I have found that it is thunder that makes us jump and wish we were deafened at birth, born without any knowledge of sound. It is always that initial clap that drops one to the bathroom floor with hands over ears and praying to gods, to the ones giving you this moment, to please just make it stop. Maybe they listened, or maybe the ground got cold and I finally got up and pretended to stop feeling sorry for the emotions that have latched onto my soul like the parasite I once called love.
Today I heard a distinct sound, reminding me of when the retired leaves first fell around our first steps, in an echo coming from somewhere I wrote off as my imagination. It paralyzed me like the picture I still have framed in the snow globe that sends down flakes upon our faces whenever I attempt to break the frosted over seal.
I still curse that overwhelming clap of thunder that was deafening for all in reach of the waves because though it is over with and exchanged with a period of stillness, it is not one to comfort and I am left anticipating when the echo will decide to hit. It reminds me of the time the silence grew too loud with no other sound than the turn signal acting as a constant reminder of the last time I would be traveling down this stretch of road. My life is so still that I am forced to live it all again like a nightmare when you ache to scream for help but nothing comes out, but when I finally lay my head down to rest, my heart pumps louder than it has ever before.
She was the best yet the worst thing to happen to me just like this small town with those orange-tinted street lights lined down Mainstreet until the center point disappears into yet another dead end.