I have always been one to prefer reading a book in my bedroom to mingling with guests downstairs. Decompression time has always been built into my schedule even after the smallest of outings. Being alone is how I cope with the chaotic world around me which is often overstimulating and exhausting for an introvert like me.
I haven't been able to keep this security blanket of alone time into my new lifestyle while away at college because I am around people almost every hour of the day. I wake up in the mornings and lay my head down at night not eight feet from another person. Grabbing coffee and meals is a way to socialize between classes. In my free time, I am surrounded by friendships that I don't want anything else but to enjoy. I joined a sorority and have been staying involved with campus life, so the relationships with the people around me have become so important to who I am and what I do.
Maintaining a balance between my introverted tendencies and my new extroverted life has been a challenge that I am still trying to master. I didn't do a very good job of this my first semester when I was still figuring it all out, but I tried. I was still doing my Sacred Sundays at the end of every month to check in with myself, but the message got lost in translation. Sacred Sundays started as a way for me to give myself the day on Sunday to recenter. This was my devoted day to introversion. This doesn't work with my schedule anymore, but implementing ways to recenter into my life is really important. In the case that any of you lovely readers feel the same sense of being overwhelmed like there isn't enough time in your life to recenter, I will be sharing the ways I am learning to prioritize that.
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On Monday/Wednesday/Friday my classes don't start until 12:30, so I have a huge chunk of time to myself. I was sleeping in late and having slow starts to those days, but recently have turned that habit around since it is one of the only times that I have to myself while everyone else is in class. Now I wake up around 8:30-9 and have time to clean up my space to feel productive, take a shower, grab a coffee, and get work done. This shift has saved my social battery and made me so much more grateful for the small moments lately.
I go on lunch dates with myself nearly every day because my schedule doesn't align well with my friends' schedules. This used to make me so anxious to the point I'd eat in my room, but now I have learned to really love this part of my day. I will usually order food at my campus food court and sit at a table with my laptop and headphones. I multitask food and homework partly to distract myself from my anxious thoughts of who might be around watching me eat alone. Doing this every day has made me more comfortable with the idea and has also helped me with my time management. I get a lot of my work done during my lunch dates with myself and that gives me more time to enjoy when my friends are also free.
Now that the weather is warmer, I never want to be inside. My friends always sit on the lawn on towels tanning, picnicking, and just enjoying ourselves, but sometimes even that can be too much for me. At home, I usually go on hikes or runs at the reservoir and park near my house which was one of the best things for my mental health. It makes my body and mind feel good as I am exercising, getting outside, and having alone time. My school is located just a mile from the Susquehanna River so I'll go on walks or runs by the river just like I do at home which really helps, especially when I'm homesick.
Running is something I have been getting into as a way to relieve stress, so I'll either go to the gym or run outside. I am not on a super strict workout schedule but usually end up going around three times a week which is perfect for me. I love how I feel after I work out both mentally and physically so if I am having a rough day and need to recenter, getting some exercise really helps me.
I have been trying to stay super busy and motivated, but sometimes I need to force myself to relax. This has been my main issue at college because I feel like I have to be on top of everything all the time or I will slip behind. I have a lot more responsibilities living on my own and a constant stream of to-do lists in my head, so this can make it hard to take a step back even when I have free time. At night I have a hard time turning the lights off and going to sleep because I feel like I should be doing something else first. Recently, I have been forcing myself to put on a tv show or movie and make some popcorn to get into that relaxed state because that is self-care too! (I am actually writing this at 10:30 on a Sunday night forcing myself to keep my eyes open instead of getting some sleep so I am going to take my own advice and put a show on instead.)
In college, there is so much going on all the time that it is hard to say no. There are student activities, events with my sorority, and things I want to do with my friends, on top of managing school and taking care of myself. This becomes a lot and sometimes I have to say no to plans in order to get my work done or even just to do laundry. It's hard to feel like I am not missing out when I take time for myself, but I am trying to get more comfortable with the idea of staying back to prioritize myself.
On busy days, it can be hard to even find the time or energy for these little ways to recenter, but most times, you can always change your mindset. Being grateful for what I do have time for instead of what I don't is really important. I lot of the time I am overwhelmed, I am overwhelmed by positive things, so even though they take a lot of my energy I still want to take the time to be grateful for them.
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Finding time to recenter is really important, especially as a college student, because life can catch up to you fast. These are some of the ways that I have implemented self-care into my busy life and hopefully, they work for anyone reading who may struggle with this too. Thanks for reading!
-Emma Claire